Not a day goes by in my life when I don’t think about other people doing activities that I just can’t do. There are times I just want to shake them and say, “Do you know how lucky you are?” Do I really want them to think about everything they do as a gift? Not really.

I was thinking about my own life. Do I take it for granted?

The answer is absolutely.

We all take things for granted. I take many things for granted, including my friends, family, and lifestyle. I appreciate my life but I admit sometimes I take it for granted. I have so many positive aspects in my life that it is impossible for me to not take it for granted.

I always had food, shelter, and a warm place to sleep and there are too many people in the world who don’t have that. Heck, just one is too many. In order to grow, my feeling is that we want more. That desire just to get more and more drives successful people. To be fully content in your life is contradictory to achieving success.

In writing this post, it makes me think about everything I have—and I have a lot. My new definition of not taking life for granted is to take time every so often to empathize with people who don’t have everything I do. People who wonder what it’s like to eat a hot meal every day or to go out with friends multiple times a week or to go to their parents’ house and hang out with them whenever they feel like. I’m sure there are people around us every day that would die for those things.

Last week I described my four amazing trips. One thing I left out is that they had an incredible impact on the way I way I look at my life and my goals for this year. Each one reminded me of where I’ve been and where I want to go.

Arizona

Not only was I was in a room with twelve amazing professionals, but I felt that I belonged in that room. I met Larry Winget—someone I have followed intently since ’05. I also got to meet Joe Calloway, another incredible speaker. I learned a lot and was also reminded of everything I already know. When we get stuck, we often question our own abilities. This past year has been a whirlwind and it is time to pursue my goals with a vengeance. The conference reminded me of that and has given me more confidence than I’ve had in a while.

Seattle

One of my biggest victories early on was being a small part of the USC football team family. I spoke for them, I got to go on the field before the home games, and it felt like I was a celebrity. Coach Carroll also viewed me as an author and as someone who understood life. There’s a part of me that loves the celebrity status speaking brings.

Philippines

I got to spend time with the most wonderful woman. Leslie and I spent time together as a couple. She is my balance between every crazy idea I have running through my head. When I’m with her or talking to her, nothing else matters in that moment. That’s an amazing feeling for a neurotic guy like me. I can’t wait for her to come here in April or May so that we can be a couple.

Hawaii

There’s just something about Hawaii I can’t explain. I absolutely love it. I spent a week alone with my best friend Patrick, who I have known since second grade…over a quarter of a century. There was a calm brought to me when I was in Hawaii, which reminded me of what life is really about.

I had an amazing holiday. I took four trips in one month and loved every minute of it (except getting nauseous on the plane, but I’m okay now).

On December 7, I took off to Arizona to meet Larry Winget and Joe Calloway. In August, I went to the National Speakers Association where I could not wait to meet Larry. He spoke there and I missed meeting him. But this time he hosted an event with Joe, and it literally changed the way I look at my business and my life. It was an intense meeting in the boardroom followed by dinner at Winget’s house. I enjoyed myself and met eleven colleagues who I will keep in contact with for many years.

I flew to Seattle the next day, where I saw the Seahawks beat the Rams on Monday Night Football. I hung out with Coach Carroll the day before the game at the headquarters. I got to go on the field before the game. It was amazing but cold.

A week later, I flew to the Philippines with my roommate and best friend Patrick, where I got to hang out for a week with my fiancé Leslie, who I can’t wait to come here. We went to the mall, went to the movies, and we got to be a couple. We had Christmas dinner at a restaurant and I could not be happier.

I’m back in the office after four amazing trips that I took in December. I will talk about them in a later post. I’d like to start of the new year with some words about goals. I did this last year and I think I want to continue the tradition.

I am excited about this year because I am going to get married, going to publish my autobiography, and speak more.

Before I went on my trips, I watched a video by Joe Calloway, who I met in Arizona along with Larry Winget. The video was about letting go. The step after goal setting should be an inventory of things that did not work, a list of things that hold you back. Examples can be friends who don’t support your goals or friends who make fun of your goals. Also, they could be habits such as going for a Monday night cocktail with colleagues.

We all have struggles in our life that hinder us, but in order to move forward you have to let those things go.

So, we have come to the end of the year. Let me tell you, this year has been the best year of my life.

My dreams came true.

I am in the best place emotionally in over fourteen years. I’m having a good time and my life is finally loving me back.

I came into the year with a lot of questions:

• What do I want to do professionally?
• Am I ever going to fall in love?
• How do I get used to my new normal?

In January, my new house was getting renovated. At the same time, my best friend Patrick Saylor was getting ready to move down here. This will be the first time since college I had moved out of my parents house. Pat came down from Lake Tahoe on Super Bowl weekend and we went to Vegas. When we got back, I saw that my bed was moved into my house. Almost a year before, I was at my friend Artin’s housewarming party where I asked myself if I would I ever be able to buy my own house.

During the first part of the year, I was more than a little bit obsessed with finding a girlfriend. The more I thought about it, the more I started doubting that it would happen for me again. I was obsessed with going on match.com every day and emailing in a desperate attempt to even have drinks with a girl.

Then it happened.

My cousin Babek was traveling back and forth to the Philippines to visit Claiza, a girl that he met online. Babek and I are really close and we try to have dinner with one another once a week. I asked Babek to ask his girl if she might have a friend. One day, Babek was at my family’s house and asked if we could talk. He said that Claiza’s best friend Leslie wanted to meet me. Leslie and I started talking and I quickly fell in love. My parents and I went to the Philippines where I asked her to be my wife.

Yes, I am engaged.

And right after I put this post up, I am going to change my Facebook status to “engaged.”

The second question that I had is what I wanted to do for a living. I had a bad experience when I went to Lake Tahoe and Utah the year before. Since my family is financially stable, what was my motivation? I received an email from Dean Jim Ellis askng me if I wanted to speak in San Diego. I called Rich and he said let’s do it. I had so much fun on stage that I could not think of doing anything else. It’s not work, it’s fun.

Perhaps the best thing that happened to me this year was to watch my mom, my dad, and my sister relax and really enjoy their lives. They all have sacrificed so much for me and it’s fun to watch them just be happy. I traveled a lot. I was in Vegas, Anaheim, Philippines, Scottsdale, Seattle, and I’m going to the Philippines and Hawaii next week.

Last week I got to meet and hang out with the most seasoned speakers in the industry. Larry Winget and Joe Calloway. I had an amazing trip. I will go into that next year because it deserves its own blog post.

I feel that my writing has grown to a whole new level. I plan to release my autobiography the summer of next year.

What you need to know most about me is that I am happy. I still have the same challenges as before but I am trying to make peace with them. I still get frustrated but I am happy. I am off to the Philippines and then Hawaii for New Years and I will continue blogging when I come back.

Happy holidays!

I lost one of my best friends: Brent.

He passed away the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I’ve known Brent since high school. We started hanging out about seven years ago through my friend Arash. Arash and I would go to his house about twenty minutes away, where we would barbeque and just hang out. I would often crash on his floor.

One of his favorite stories about me

Brent used to be a caretaker for a quadriplegic. He assumed that like his employer, I had no control of my legs. One morning, he woke up and saw me already sitting in my chair and wondered how I got up there. A couple of weeks ago, we were sitting at my kitchen table and he turned to me and said, “Sourena, I need to stand up and stretch my legs.” I turned to him and said, “Me too.” He turned bright red and said, “I’m sorry.” Then I laughed. That was Brent. He was a considerate, funny, and gentle guy.

This year I moved into my own house for the first time. My roommate Pat and I called Arash the first night that we stayed in the house. When Arash got there, I saw Brent arrive behind him. He poked his big head in my doorway and instantly fell in love with my couch. He would literally call me up and ask if he could take a nap on my couch. We became really close this year. Over the last few months, I would say that he came over four out of seven nights during the week, which always made me happy.

I never called him by his name Brent. I always called him by his last name, Yuhasz or many variations of his name, including but not limited to, Yu-ey, Yu-toss, Big Hoss, Big Sexy, and my favororite—Buddy. Everytime he would call, I would answer the phone, “Yuuuuhasz, where are you!?” and he would say, “Soooooooourena.” He was going through a tough time a couple of months ago and he called me and said, “Thank you buddy, you’re such a good listener.” To play with him, I’d say, “What?” “You’re such a good listener.” “What?” “You’re such a good listener.” “What?” Then he’d figure it out.

We shared many memories and many late nights together. His father Emory and he would watch the USC football game together, we would go out to eat, talk about our problems, make fun of each other, and just be there in good times and in bad.

I love the guy and I’m going to miss him.

As I wind up the year, I am already thinking about next year. Mainly because I’m getting ready to go on a speaking retreat with Larry Winget and Joe Calloway.

One mistake that I have made in the past is that I didn’t put the business paramount to everything else. In order for me to take my business to the next level, I need to put my business above everything else. I have so many expectations from my business. I want to have fun, I want to make money, I want my business to show me the country, and I want my business to introduce me to fascinating people.

In the past, I have been focused on the list. What is going to make this all happen? Focusing on making sales and marketing paramount to everything else, even my own desires? In the past, I tried to have my cake and eat it too. That didn’t work. I was focused on hanging out, watching football, meeting the media, and other activities. It’s like being in a relationship. There are times when your own wants and needs are paramount, but usually in order for any relationship to work, what is paramount is the relationship itself. It’s bigger than the two people involved. Sometimes you need to skip the parties and just have the hard conversation if you’re trying to make a business decision.

What is paramount is the business itself, not one individual in the room.

For the last few years-starting with the USC blog then this blog-every year I’ve made a list of everything I’m thankful for. I am so happy to report that this has been the best year of my adult life. The reason that I say “adult life” is because there’s nothing like being a kid. The ironic part is no matter how much you tell kids that, they don’t believe you. Then one day around the age of 25, everybody says, “Oh yeah.”

• My parents, who always come on the top of my list.
• My sister Sanaz is living a great life and as her big brother, it’s great to watch.
• My house.
• My love life (I promise I will write about her soon).
• My ever-expanding body of work, which grew by leaps and bounds this year. 
• My manager Kristi, who supports me and tells me that I’m being irrational and paranoid. (And it’s exactly what I need.)
• Trojan League Associates of San Diego Count. Earlier this year I was not sure if I wanted to speak anymore, but when I went to San Diego with Rich I decided that I wanted to speak as long as I can.
• I am not thankful for the NBA lockout, where are my Lakers games? (Is that against the rules of Thanksgiving? Sorry, my blog.)
• My best friend and roommate Patrick Saylor, who moved in with me in February. He takes care of me and he tells me every day to not work so hard.
• The impromptu late nights at the house. 
• Dexter, the show.
• My cousin Babak. (More on that in another blog post.)
• My speaking partner Rich Finley. 
• All of my friends. 
• Larry and Joe, who I am going to go a seminar with. (But they have already emailed me a great email telling me that I have all the ingredients to take my career to the next level.)
• Eddie Murphy is back. Hopefully he will do standup next year. 

I really can’t remember the last time I was this happy. It seems that after all these years, my life really does love me back. For that I am grateful. I still have everyday stuff that I have to deal with and I still want to grow as a person. I’m having fun working out three times a week. I have the busiest travel schedule in December. I will be spending Thanksgiving at my parents’ house with about fifty relatives.

For those of you who are not having an awesome year, take a moment to see what is working in your life and be thankful for that, whether it would be the time that you spend with your friends, family, or kissing your significant other every day. Hang onto that.

One of the problems I have is I am not consistent.

I have so many ideas going through my head throughout the day.

As I look back on my career, I find that my biggest weakness is that lack of consistency. It’s a very challenging thing to admit your weaknesses, especially in a blog post, but this week I admit that I am horrible at being consistent. This is one of the reasons I am very particular about tweeting four or five times a week and adamant about writing this blog and getting a new post up every week. (Except on Christmas, because I need a break.)

The way I see it, if I skip a week because I don’t have the time, that would lead to skipping two weeks because I don’t feel well, which would lead to I have nothing to say.  I have nothing to say would lead to I had a late night out with my buddies, which would ultimately take me somewhere like I’ll just do it when I feel like it. I don’t want that to happen. I need a place to vent, to create, and to inspire. I have been obsessing this week about consistency. I want to speak and travel more, but I have to say, my life is pretty awesome right now. More on that in January when I get back from Hawaii and overseas (hint, hint).

Someone very close to me said, “Sometimes your blog can be corny.” I thought to myself, at least it’s consistent.  The reason why I’m talking about this is I think the biggest roadblock in my speaking career is that I’ve never had a consistent, clear vision. Yes, I wanted to be that guy who speaks between twenty and fifty times a year, but I never mapped out exactly how to get there. Instead, I’ve had many, many discussions and meetings with friends, family, colleagues, and Dean Ellis about how I should get there but I never got down to the core or the place where I said to myself, this is what I have to do, and no matter what, I’m going to do it.

How many people have an amazing idea or the great American novel in the back of their minds? Decide what you’re going to do and be consistent about it. Most people get a great idea and work on it for a few days, even a few weeks, but they get no traction or life gets in the way and it goes on in the back burner. I struggle with this every day.

I guess I will always struggle with it. 

This year, since I’ve been taking it easy writing, moving into my new house, and reevaluating the next chapter in my professional career, I haven’t had the need to send out any press materials for a while. I recently signed up for an event hosted by Larry Winget (who I will finally get to meet in person!) and Joe Calloway, a business speaker. I want to learn the right way to market myself. I filled out an extensive questionnaire so Larry and Joe can better understand where I am and where I want to go.

They asked me to send a press package and copies of my book.

To my disappointment in myself, it took me an hour to find my new speaking DVD and another fifteen minutes to find the printable files I wanted to send them. I blame no one but myself. The DVD should have been on my desk and I should have had multiple copies of my press kit ready to go. It should have taken me one minute to get everything together instead of an hour and a half.

The lesson here is you should always be ready for something unexpected. What if a colleague called me and said, “I’m going to an event tonight. Can I swing by and pick up your press kits?”

The question is are you ready for something big to happen in your life? If you were to meet one of your potential clients or potential employers, do you have everything that you need? Is it at your fingertips? For example, I have my press kit online. I can go to any Kinkos and print it out. Is your resume updated? If you are an actor, do you have copies of your demo reel in the car?

I understand that we can’t anticipate every situation, but we can anticipate more than we can think.