When I’m out and about, I often wonder what people think when they see me. Do they feel sorry for me? Do they wonder what kind of life I have? Do they see me as one of them? Would they ever guess that I read books or that I’m engaged or that I have a big network?

A couple of stories.

About twelve years ago, I was furniture shopping with my parents and I couldn’t get my chair into the store. My parents told me to wait outside. As I was sitting there, a woman passing by pulled out a dollar bill and gave it to me.

My college roommate Sami and I were catching a movie a couple of years ago. Before we went in, a woman stopped me in the lobby and asked if I was there to see Alice in Wonderland. I couldn’t help but laugh, because she had no idea that Sami and I were good friends hanging out–talking about his time in Dubai, girls, and my book.

Usually I don’t care what people think of me or how they see me. There are times when I need to make an impression on people, and I do. I think back to the people who know me and I feel fortunate that enough people know who I am.

For me, this week’s blog is very special because it’s a continuation of what I posted one year ago this week.

February 14, 2011—I have not given up on love yet. The fact is that I am more than positive that love is out there for everybody, including me, but finding it—well, that’s a whole different story….

To be honest, I am very frustrated and scared right now but I’m also excited because I can’t wait. I have lived with that dichotomy every single day since I was 20. On one hand, I am scared. On the other hand, I can’t wait to go out and live life. Tonight I will spend Valentine’s Day with my roommate and best friend for 25 years watching the Lakers game and eating great food, wondering what I will be doing Valentine’s Day 2012.

There have been so many times in my life when finding a girl seemed like finding a needle in a haystack. In my post last Valentine’s Day, I expressed that frustration and also wondered what I would be doing in 2012.

I’m so happy to write that I am engaged. I am engaged to a wonderful woman named Leslie and I couldn’t be more excited.

The issue was that I spent a lot of time believing that a girl would never fall in love with me. The more time passed from my first relationship, the more I thought it was a one-time occurrence. I thought it was a fluke.

Leslie is one of the sweetest people I have ever met. We talk on the phone at least two or three times a day and she is the last person I talk to before I go to sleep. She has never once made my disability an issue in our relationship. We cannot wait to be together and next year I don’t know what I’ll be doing…but we will be together.

Last week I talked about taking life for granted. In the past few months, I traveled a lot. I watch other people all the time. I think about their lives, I think about what issues they have, and mostly I think about what issues I have that they don’t.

On my way to the Philippines, the airline wanted to check my electric chair at the counter, something that’s never happened to me before. They provided me a manual wheelchair. They did not let me keep the chair once I got to the gate, so I was forced to sit there for an hour not being able to go to a restaurant or anything before my flight. Once in the Philippines, I did not get my request for a handicapped accessible room. In fact, there was only one hotel that had an adequate handicapped room on my entire trip to four different cities (three within the United States). There were many other issues I’m not going to get into because I don’t want to bum myself out.

I often wonder what it would be like to travel and not care about wheelchairs or handicapped rooms. Don’t feel bad for me, I had an amazing time. I only write this so next time you are in the airport or checking into a room, you can say to yourself, “at least I don’t have to deal with what Sourena has to deal with.” Do that for me! It doesn’t have to be some drawn out process, it can be five – ten seconds.

Every so often I look at each of my hands. My left hand can do many more things, such as driving my electric chair, dialing my old school cell phone, grasping a bar so I can get up out of my chair, and many more activities. My right hand can’t do any of these things. Every month or so, I take a step back and ask myself what it would be like if my left hand was like the right. Or, if I had less body control than I already do, how much harder would my life be?

I do have a very active, great life—but what if I was more disabled than I am? What if my speech impediment was worse? Or I was mute altogether? I am grateful to be in the situation that I am. Yes, I take it for granted. Yes, I imagine what my life would be like without a disability. Yes, I have pity parties. But above all else, I’m grateful for everything that I do have – my parents, my family, and my friends.

Not a day goes by in my life when I don’t think about other people doing activities that I just can’t do. There are times I just want to shake them and say, “Do you know how lucky you are?” Do I really want them to think about everything they do as a gift? Not really.

I was thinking about my own life. Do I take it for granted?

The answer is absolutely.

We all take things for granted. I take many things for granted, including my friends, family, and lifestyle. I appreciate my life but I admit sometimes I take it for granted. I have so many positive aspects in my life that it is impossible for me to not take it for granted.

I always had food, shelter, and a warm place to sleep and there are too many people in the world who don’t have that. Heck, just one is too many. In order to grow, my feeling is that we want more. That desire just to get more and more drives successful people. To be fully content in your life is contradictory to achieving success.

In writing this post, it makes me think about everything I have—and I have a lot. My new definition of not taking life for granted is to take time every so often to empathize with people who don’t have everything I do. People who wonder what it’s like to eat a hot meal every day or to go out with friends multiple times a week or to go to their parents’ house and hang out with them whenever they feel like. I’m sure there are people around us every day that would die for those things.

Last week I described my four amazing trips. One thing I left out is that they had an incredible impact on the way I way I look at my life and my goals for this year. Each one reminded me of where I’ve been and where I want to go.

Arizona

Not only was I was in a room with twelve amazing professionals, but I felt that I belonged in that room. I met Larry Winget—someone I have followed intently since ’05. I also got to meet Joe Calloway, another incredible speaker. I learned a lot and was also reminded of everything I already know. When we get stuck, we often question our own abilities. This past year has been a whirlwind and it is time to pursue my goals with a vengeance. The conference reminded me of that and has given me more confidence than I’ve had in a while.

Seattle

One of my biggest victories early on was being a small part of the USC football team family. I spoke for them, I got to go on the field before the home games, and it felt like I was a celebrity. Coach Carroll also viewed me as an author and as someone who understood life. There’s a part of me that loves the celebrity status speaking brings.

Philippines

I got to spend time with the most wonderful woman. Leslie and I spent time together as a couple. She is my balance between every crazy idea I have running through my head. When I’m with her or talking to her, nothing else matters in that moment. That’s an amazing feeling for a neurotic guy like me. I can’t wait for her to come here in April or May so that we can be a couple.

Hawaii

There’s just something about Hawaii I can’t explain. I absolutely love it. I spent a week alone with my best friend Patrick, who I have known since second grade…over a quarter of a century. There was a calm brought to me when I was in Hawaii, which reminded me of what life is really about.

I had an amazing holiday. I took four trips in one month and loved every minute of it (except getting nauseous on the plane, but I’m okay now).

On December 7, I took off to Arizona to meet Larry Winget and Joe Calloway. In August, I went to the National Speakers Association where I could not wait to meet Larry. He spoke there and I missed meeting him. But this time he hosted an event with Joe, and it literally changed the way I look at my business and my life. It was an intense meeting in the boardroom followed by dinner at Winget’s house. I enjoyed myself and met eleven colleagues who I will keep in contact with for many years.

I flew to Seattle the next day, where I saw the Seahawks beat the Rams on Monday Night Football. I hung out with Coach Carroll the day before the game at the headquarters. I got to go on the field before the game. It was amazing but cold.

A week later, I flew to the Philippines with my roommate and best friend Patrick, where I got to hang out for a week with my fiancé Leslie, who I can’t wait to come here. We went to the mall, went to the movies, and we got to be a couple. We had Christmas dinner at a restaurant and I could not be happier.

I’m back in the office after four amazing trips that I took in December. I will talk about them in a later post. I’d like to start of the new year with some words about goals. I did this last year and I think I want to continue the tradition.

I am excited about this year because I am going to get married, going to publish my autobiography, and speak more.

Before I went on my trips, I watched a video by Joe Calloway, who I met in Arizona along with Larry Winget. The video was about letting go. The step after goal setting should be an inventory of things that did not work, a list of things that hold you back. Examples can be friends who don’t support your goals or friends who make fun of your goals. Also, they could be habits such as going for a Monday night cocktail with colleagues.

We all have struggles in our life that hinder us, but in order to move forward you have to let those things go.

So, we have come to the end of the year. Let me tell you, this year has been the best year of my life.

My dreams came true.

I am in the best place emotionally in over fourteen years. I’m having a good time and my life is finally loving me back.

I came into the year with a lot of questions:

• What do I want to do professionally?
• Am I ever going to fall in love?
• How do I get used to my new normal?

In January, my new house was getting renovated. At the same time, my best friend Patrick Saylor was getting ready to move down here. This will be the first time since college I had moved out of my parents house. Pat came down from Lake Tahoe on Super Bowl weekend and we went to Vegas. When we got back, I saw that my bed was moved into my house. Almost a year before, I was at my friend Artin’s housewarming party where I asked myself if I would I ever be able to buy my own house.

During the first part of the year, I was more than a little bit obsessed with finding a girlfriend. The more I thought about it, the more I started doubting that it would happen for me again. I was obsessed with going on match.com every day and emailing in a desperate attempt to even have drinks with a girl.

Then it happened.

My cousin Babek was traveling back and forth to the Philippines to visit Claiza, a girl that he met online. Babek and I are really close and we try to have dinner with one another once a week. I asked Babek to ask his girl if she might have a friend. One day, Babek was at my family’s house and asked if we could talk. He said that Claiza’s best friend Leslie wanted to meet me. Leslie and I started talking and I quickly fell in love. My parents and I went to the Philippines where I asked her to be my wife.

Yes, I am engaged.

And right after I put this post up, I am going to change my Facebook status to “engaged.”

The second question that I had is what I wanted to do for a living. I had a bad experience when I went to Lake Tahoe and Utah the year before. Since my family is financially stable, what was my motivation? I received an email from Dean Jim Ellis askng me if I wanted to speak in San Diego. I called Rich and he said let’s do it. I had so much fun on stage that I could not think of doing anything else. It’s not work, it’s fun.

Perhaps the best thing that happened to me this year was to watch my mom, my dad, and my sister relax and really enjoy their lives. They all have sacrificed so much for me and it’s fun to watch them just be happy. I traveled a lot. I was in Vegas, Anaheim, Philippines, Scottsdale, Seattle, and I’m going to the Philippines and Hawaii next week.

Last week I got to meet and hang out with the most seasoned speakers in the industry. Larry Winget and Joe Calloway. I had an amazing trip. I will go into that next year because it deserves its own blog post.

I feel that my writing has grown to a whole new level. I plan to release my autobiography the summer of next year.

What you need to know most about me is that I am happy. I still have the same challenges as before but I am trying to make peace with them. I still get frustrated but I am happy. I am off to the Philippines and then Hawaii for New Years and I will continue blogging when I come back.

Happy holidays!

I lost one of my best friends: Brent.

He passed away the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I’ve known Brent since high school. We started hanging out about seven years ago through my friend Arash. Arash and I would go to his house about twenty minutes away, where we would barbeque and just hang out. I would often crash on his floor.

One of his favorite stories about me

Brent used to be a caretaker for a quadriplegic. He assumed that like his employer, I had no control of my legs. One morning, he woke up and saw me already sitting in my chair and wondered how I got up there. A couple of weeks ago, we were sitting at my kitchen table and he turned to me and said, “Sourena, I need to stand up and stretch my legs.” I turned to him and said, “Me too.” He turned bright red and said, “I’m sorry.” Then I laughed. That was Brent. He was a considerate, funny, and gentle guy.

This year I moved into my own house for the first time. My roommate Pat and I called Arash the first night that we stayed in the house. When Arash got there, I saw Brent arrive behind him. He poked his big head in my doorway and instantly fell in love with my couch. He would literally call me up and ask if he could take a nap on my couch. We became really close this year. Over the last few months, I would say that he came over four out of seven nights during the week, which always made me happy.

I never called him by his name Brent. I always called him by his last name, Yuhasz or many variations of his name, including but not limited to, Yu-ey, Yu-toss, Big Hoss, Big Sexy, and my favororite—Buddy. Everytime he would call, I would answer the phone, “Yuuuuhasz, where are you!?” and he would say, “Soooooooourena.” He was going through a tough time a couple of months ago and he called me and said, “Thank you buddy, you’re such a good listener.” To play with him, I’d say, “What?” “You’re such a good listener.” “What?” “You’re such a good listener.” “What?” Then he’d figure it out.

We shared many memories and many late nights together. His father Emory and he would watch the USC football game together, we would go out to eat, talk about our problems, make fun of each other, and just be there in good times and in bad.

I love the guy and I’m going to miss him.

As I wind up the year, I am already thinking about next year. Mainly because I’m getting ready to go on a speaking retreat with Larry Winget and Joe Calloway.

One mistake that I have made in the past is that I didn’t put the business paramount to everything else. In order for me to take my business to the next level, I need to put my business above everything else. I have so many expectations from my business. I want to have fun, I want to make money, I want my business to show me the country, and I want my business to introduce me to fascinating people.

In the past, I have been focused on the list. What is going to make this all happen? Focusing on making sales and marketing paramount to everything else, even my own desires? In the past, I tried to have my cake and eat it too. That didn’t work. I was focused on hanging out, watching football, meeting the media, and other activities. It’s like being in a relationship. There are times when your own wants and needs are paramount, but usually in order for any relationship to work, what is paramount is the relationship itself. It’s bigger than the two people involved. Sometimes you need to skip the parties and just have the hard conversation if you’re trying to make a business decision.

What is paramount is the business itself, not one individual in the room.